Thursday, December 9, 2010

Blake Griffin's Dunks

Just had to mention this after watching another highlight of Blake Griffin. How is he that much better at dunking than everyone else? He dunks like Jack the Ripper murders prostitutes. Viciously. With Authority. As if that is his Sole Purpose on this Earth. As if God Almighty Himself contracted him out to do the things not even Satan could pull off.

Henceforth, whenever I think of Zeus or Thor hurling thunderbolts from the heavens (okay... it doesn't come up much, but it doesn't come up never, either) I will think of Blake Griffin pulverizing a ball through a hoop far, far below him. Is it too late to cast him in the Thor movie? I'm really looking forward to that movie, but at this point it should almost be just an hour and a half of Blake Griffin dunking while screaming Thor's catchphrase. (What's that? Thor doesn't really have a catchphrase? Well, he can just yell stuff like, "Odin's Beard!" and "Ye Gods!" while wearing a Clippers jersey with a font consisting of old Norse runes. That'll work.)

And honestly, I don't even think "dunking" is an adequate way to describe what he's doing. It's so far above and beyond dunking that it's doing a disservice to those who haven't seen it. He's not dunking. He's "Basketball-Crushing." Or "Hoop-Smashing." Or "Bitch-Making." But he's not simply "Dunking."

Hyperbole? Probably almost certainly. Awesome? Definitely.

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